I Write With Thoughts From Rock Bottom

Can you see it? Fly with me...

Another dream to see free speaking breeze along your intentions...
The invention of interventions failed to listen when slit wrists like lips failed to mention
a bad habit in contention with the semantics of emotional contradiction
With this comes a simple reality derived from fiction

READ YO BOOK LIKE YA LEARN SOMFIN ...
Or blow up an orphanage because a dead guy spoke SOMFIN
words in red like he actually wrote SOMFIN

why should he die because the same guy gave him amnesty
can you not fathom the tragedy of this reality?

Get up stand up Bob Marley the fuck up and trust...
There is no reason that we must make this much fuss
over tabernacles layered in rust and historical leaders with religious blood lust
just shut the fuck up and fly with us... Or die with us
neither one of us inclined to end war time crimes "In God We Trust"

Allowing these thoughts to spin into chaos
twisting the loss into a storm cloud of rot
for all of the spinning the progress stopped

and laid stagnant the eye of the storm funneling madness
right into the sweet spot of my joy like magnets
sticking to my soul like deaths sweet kisses
the deafening screams but no one seemed to listen...

as the light got pulled from my sight tonight
my brother laid dead in the street tonight...

...But you didn't think about that...

Before you smiled and spat before the scab healed over my graveyard tat
you sat back and laughed and grabbed at heart string facts

but don’t know what to call 'em...
Justice is this... Click... Clock... I Got 'em...
all of these tears but lord I don't want 'em...
so I let my heart ink from thoughts of rock bottom.

I let you think I scribed then forgot 'em
I write sheets to breeze along my senses
I write to keep myself from going senseless
I write to hear when my heart won't listen
I write to let go... move on... be forgiven...

Beauty In Death

Alright pops... I know you can't speak with me... Well... at least not on this frequency... But let me speak about me and how your absence left me... Walking through life aimlessly...


Yeah... I've lied... I've fought...

I've left all my good thoughts to rot in the compost pile of forgotten smiles and still I stand...

Breathing deep the aroma for awhile as I contemplate my current situation
on the proverbial plate of my current station...

I laugh at the tears as they drip from the waste
and I taste the fears as they leak from her face
and I feel the burn of a long winded race
as I chase feathers into the recess of fate...

Chase but never catch,
create but never last,
the past will last as long as
the shame of past mishaps

sing a song for the infamy
rising up inside of me
destroying me entirely
and yes I miss him direly...

But what can you do?
God saw fit to take his breath from you...

now all that’s left is the dew drops on scattered ashes
the salty wetness on sheets and mattresses
a picture of you is a reflection of madness

and the night time screaming dreaming haunts replaying memories once burned and forgot...

And yeah... I've lived... I've cried...

So now I leave all my good thoughts to die in the compost pile of forgotten smiles and still I stand...

Waiting for someone to help me understand
is there really no justice? no holy reprimand?

by painting loosely framed pictures from "truth" derived from scripture
when there's a living beast inside of me feeding quicker
I need to breathe so I chose the lesser of two evils...
Egotistical... or the flesh and blood of His stolen steeple...

c'mon people lets welcome the reaper
and stand fast with hearts at half mast
take all of the blind faithless to task
and remember what we came for...

Seek a little truth through metaphor and inspire,
climb high and aspire to new heights and retire
when our hearts of fire grow heavy with time and make ready...

For unchartered waters through deep seas of blind imagining and let your soul sing...

So yeah... I've sinned... And I breathe...

As I leave all my thoughts to grieve in a compost pile of deep imagining and still I stand... Still I sing...

What Did I Do?

How does one ever begin to convey the feelings of loss of destruction today...

I've leapt I've dived I've ripped my heart out and died
for the feeling of dismissal the indifferent missile like deaths razor sharp sickle
I don’t understand all the needless reprimand
or how you can stand to walk off with a man

knowing I'm held back holding out son as a ward against attack...
It’s the truth... A cold honest fact...
That between me and you I've got it good I've got it bad...
Jealous beyond the boundaries of demands...

No ring on your finger... No truth to my promise...
I just thought after it all you'd be honest
but I cannot expect, demand, or regard
The flawed nature of your being walking the side of the boulevard.

Because really? What the fuck did I do?...
Other than swallow the jagged pill stand up and stay true...
What did I do beside give my life to you?

This is all just a dream a fucking nightmare...
The image of you and of her... I need to repair...
I'm lost on my own... And you control my spirit
wake me when my good deeds suddenly have merit...
Cant stand but to share it I tried not to scare it...
Just stood, gritted my teeth and bared it...
I'd like to let it all loose... But I choose to despair it...
After the facts too late don’t know if I can mirror it...

I fear all of it but sit back and quit
the rise of the tide inside my minds jealous side....
Because I don’t have the right no engagement in sight...
I'm a fucking donor... The creator of life but in life there are 23 chromosomes pushed to the side...

This ride goes on too long for me to just hide...
Set me on a path of unforgiving mass... I traveled down at last after your time came to pass...

And don’t hear me...

Oh no whatever you do don’t hear me...

Let me be the whispers that gnaw at your pride
let me be the reason you stood up and lied
let me be the tears that fell when you cried
and let me be the knife for a life of suicide...