Black Paint...

Look through tears as your past echoes with laughter taunting all you held as mine

Such a pretty portrait painted of yourself lacking all shadows and straight flowing lines

The blank spots on the tapestry a necessary reminder that your truth is incomplete

Lest the boundaries of your life be torn and past and future compete

But so discreetly whisper the poison born from experience driven delusion

Until the very smiles you've worn tatter to empty wide eyed confusion

As you look around at your world made sober, laughter coming faint

What will you do with emptiness made over? Walls worn with black paint...

I’m Tired…

Tired I am…

 

In my soul I'm weary…

 

Tired of holding on to something insubstantial…

 

Tired of thinking that I may be special…

 

Tired of missing…

…you, the truth, satisfaction, an angry reaction…

…festers and pours along my skin enveloping all of me in misery…

 

I'm tired of my mind too strong to control…

…my thoughts running like small children before the dinner call…

 

…tired of last calls… burned up cigar wrappers… and empty shot glasses…

 

…tired of the masses,

I want something fresh something new, something interesting, something true, I want something besides the memory of you…

 

…tired of only feeling the emptiness of where my heart used to be…

 

To be free… is to be lonely… to be in love… is to be disappointed… to be alive is to be dying…. and all smiles eventually lead to crying.

 

I'm tired….

Call Me A Liar…

Living life with a smile as the world cyclones around me in a shit storm of penalties, sin, and ignorance.

Why is it I love and others die….

When I think that I'm ready.

What's your plan?

Do you really want to keep me alive to torture me?

Even though my heart pumps you waste your time torturing the dead the damned and the broken….

Save it my heart has spoken…

Save it for someone who has not yet awakened to the horror filled reality that walks these streets.

 

I walk these streets…

 

I don't need a billboard to see the sadness reflecting in the wishing pool begging for mercy with the flip of a penny.

I don't need the news to tell me that millions pray at the bed side of sleeping children crying for the light that shines through the eyes of those too young to know the truth.

 

The nightmares are real…

 

Time passing by too slowly to notice the embers cooling to ash…

And another innocent becomes aware of the world…

Our children will grow into the walking dead.

Corpses with hard hats and leather brief cases…

Corpses wearing Prada and Gucci sun glasses sipping tasteless drinks by polluted waters breathing in the death that pours from smoke stacks, aerosol cans, and cars that drive in meaningless directions.

 

Sad… but I smile.

 

Call me a liar and be called one for your trouble…

See you there pretty lady…

Scandalous sinful pride will wander she who believes herself greater than those who chose to believe her. I will be the poor… I will be the dirty… rather than live in egomaniacal persecution of self. Kiss the stars dear one… you can't take it with you… and once you come unto nothing... as all things do… I will be waiting, waiting there for you. Only it won't be the dreams I haunt but the inky blackness of your self projected prison… shaped from your formless sinning… see me there richer by far… poor but grinning.

I Slept With Truth

I slept with truth once…

Tasted it… but not while I was hungry

I looked deeply into the eyes of truth

They were shifty

I lay there next to truth

Feeling so comfortable in my embrace

But the form was ever shifting

I slept soundly

But truth tossed and turned

Having nightmares of time

I awoke next to a corpse

And I left… kissing truth upon a cold brow

I danced on nightmares fire

Slipping away gently to the rhythm of life

Softly tip toeing upon awareness

Finally rescinding to dream

And returned to the bedside

Where truth still dozed

Neither awake nor sleeping

The unrest keeping relief just out of reach

I lay down again

Dreaming of the time

Where promises

Run out of thought

Making a liar

Out of the past

You’re ‘Dereliction’

Bless me with patience but curse me with purpose

Grant me strength to turn back from worthless

I do not need your pillows of lace; Nor the comforted heart full if grace

I just don't want to see the smile on your face

Laughing at my bloodied disgrace

How dare you taunt me and curse those that want me

When It was your reflection in the knifes direction

When it was your voice that caused a suicidal infection

Capitalizing on my own imperfections

Who could blame my marital defection?

The reasons were clear and not up for question

Don't blame me for your poor recollection

Divorce for me has been my own resurrection

And if it was put up for an election…

I'd rather go through life without an erection

Than see for one second your smiling complexion

Nothing better to do than hatred projection?
On the wall labeled the "Reed Section"?

Fuck you hater, start a coin collection

You'll never get past my own introspection

Nor my desire to lead a life of perfection

With the one person I managed to make a connection

If you fell from my world in complete disconnection

There would be a lack of nothing with the exception of objection

No more suicide smiles in my direction

No more petty Myspace inspections

Just my life…

Finally going…

In a good direction.