I’m Tired…

Tired I am…

 

In my soul I'm weary…

 

Tired of holding on to something insubstantial…

 

Tired of thinking that I may be special…

 

Tired of missing…

…you, the truth, satisfaction, an angry reaction…

…festers and pours along my skin enveloping all of me in misery…

 

I'm tired of my mind too strong to control…

…my thoughts running like small children before the dinner call…

 

…tired of last calls… burned up cigar wrappers… and empty shot glasses…

 

…tired of the masses,

I want something fresh something new, something interesting, something true, I want something besides the memory of you…

 

…tired of only feeling the emptiness of where my heart used to be…

 

To be free… is to be lonely… to be in love… is to be disappointed… to be alive is to be dying…. and all smiles eventually lead to crying.

 

I'm tired….

Call Me A Liar…

Living life with a smile as the world cyclones around me in a shit storm of penalties, sin, and ignorance.

Why is it I love and others die….

When I think that I'm ready.

What's your plan?

Do you really want to keep me alive to torture me?

Even though my heart pumps you waste your time torturing the dead the damned and the broken….

Save it my heart has spoken…

Save it for someone who has not yet awakened to the horror filled reality that walks these streets.

 

I walk these streets…

 

I don't need a billboard to see the sadness reflecting in the wishing pool begging for mercy with the flip of a penny.

I don't need the news to tell me that millions pray at the bed side of sleeping children crying for the light that shines through the eyes of those too young to know the truth.

 

The nightmares are real…

 

Time passing by too slowly to notice the embers cooling to ash…

And another innocent becomes aware of the world…

Our children will grow into the walking dead.

Corpses with hard hats and leather brief cases…

Corpses wearing Prada and Gucci sun glasses sipping tasteless drinks by polluted waters breathing in the death that pours from smoke stacks, aerosol cans, and cars that drive in meaningless directions.

 

Sad… but I smile.

 

Call me a liar and be called one for your trouble…

See you there pretty lady…

Scandalous sinful pride will wander she who believes herself greater than those who chose to believe her. I will be the poor… I will be the dirty… rather than live in egomaniacal persecution of self. Kiss the stars dear one… you can't take it with you… and once you come unto nothing... as all things do… I will be waiting, waiting there for you. Only it won't be the dreams I haunt but the inky blackness of your self projected prison… shaped from your formless sinning… see me there richer by far… poor but grinning.

I Slept With Truth

I slept with truth once…

Tasted it… but not while I was hungry

I looked deeply into the eyes of truth

They were shifty

I lay there next to truth

Feeling so comfortable in my embrace

But the form was ever shifting

I slept soundly

But truth tossed and turned

Having nightmares of time

I awoke next to a corpse

And I left… kissing truth upon a cold brow

I danced on nightmares fire

Slipping away gently to the rhythm of life

Softly tip toeing upon awareness

Finally rescinding to dream

And returned to the bedside

Where truth still dozed

Neither awake nor sleeping

The unrest keeping relief just out of reach

I lay down again

Dreaming of the time

Where promises

Run out of thought

Making a liar

Out of the past

You’re ‘Dereliction’

Bless me with patience but curse me with purpose

Grant me strength to turn back from worthless

I do not need your pillows of lace; Nor the comforted heart full if grace

I just don't want to see the smile on your face

Laughing at my bloodied disgrace

How dare you taunt me and curse those that want me

When It was your reflection in the knifes direction

When it was your voice that caused a suicidal infection

Capitalizing on my own imperfections

Who could blame my marital defection?

The reasons were clear and not up for question

Don't blame me for your poor recollection

Divorce for me has been my own resurrection

And if it was put up for an election…

I'd rather go through life without an erection

Than see for one second your smiling complexion

Nothing better to do than hatred projection?
On the wall labeled the "Reed Section"?

Fuck you hater, start a coin collection

You'll never get past my own introspection

Nor my desire to lead a life of perfection

With the one person I managed to make a connection

If you fell from my world in complete disconnection

There would be a lack of nothing with the exception of objection

No more suicide smiles in my direction

No more petty Myspace inspections

Just my life…

Finally going…

In a good direction.

My Cryptic Darkness

I want to die by a tree in the darkness; the night time can cover the ash in my eyes

I want to die while the moon’s still in harvest; or can the old man make it a surprise



As long as I’m greeted empty with freedom; with no scars to scare the angels away

Sometimes I’m in hiding my mind doesn’t need her; gagging the heart and stopping the fray



The whispers are louder when my thoughts are hazy

The taunts and the laughter, when they say I’m crazy

But what can come after, this past that has made me

the memories are faster, and the old man is lazy



All the Exiled please sing me to darkness

All the Forgotten please carry me home

All of the smiles please color them heartless

The sun it tastes bitter when you’re all alone



Sometimes I will wander away from my tree; the innocent will wonder what wrong with me

before I return with more scars on my heart; the travel has hurt me and set me apart



The girl is now laughing the old man looks on; and my sight begins to tie up my shoe

I seem to remember that my heart is gone; walking with angels and carrying you…



The whispers are louder when my thoughts are hazy

The taunts and the laughter, when they say I’m crazy

But what can come after, this past that has made me

the memories are faster, and the old man is lazy



All the Exiled please sing me to darkness

All the Forgotten please carry me home

All of the smiles please color them heartless

The sun it tastes bitter when you’re all alone



My eye lids are stolen she took them from me

How can I survive when I’m blinded by darkness

When a thing that’s so beautiful won’t let me be

The old man is taunting me….

They won’t leave…

Me alone…

These Dead Lips Smile

Come one come all

See the dead smile

And watch the corpses laugh...

Grinning at their epitaphs

The irony of life…

Is that you only appreciate it once dead

Then we cry over the lives we led

If only a corpse had a tear worth falling

If only we could walk through life...

Instead of crawling

Dreading each day

By the sound of an alarm

But before peace comes

We turn it back on

The repetition

The monotony

Life's frustration

Comes from a desire

To be free

But how can we feel

With obligations so real

Never trusting that

Happiness is our struggle

If only we had the strength to choose

Instead of being weak with trouble

Let the fears fade away

Turn your back on a cloudy day

Stare at the faces

Of your children full of light

Try and remember

The dark starless night

A time long before

You painted the sky

With lifeless junk

And whitened scars

Clouded the heavens

With bad memories

And smoked out bars

Drifting scenery

And brand new cars

Really have we come this far?

Just to be the plastic liar?

With hair plugs and Botox

Prostitution and crack rocks

All the gold inside fort knox

Could not stop your internal clock

From progressing onward

Right up until the very end

Then you'll see the truth my friend

All that comes with you...

Is your sin...

And that is why all these

Dead lips grin