Paper

Why am I sad?
There was no darkness to save me
This time…
To wrap me in coldness
Sheltered from the fire
In your eyes
That image burned me
Left me naked
Ashamed and lost
A promise broken
By the weight of collapse
An inward tumble
With nothing to grasp
The slick walls of my heart
Made of glass
Wouldn’t allow me to hold on…
Only the tiny cuts
Of fragmented memories
Embedded in the soul
Keep me aware
Of my own humanity
The jagged memory
Of a tattered lie
Keep me holding
Forever holding
That which is tainted
That which is wounded
That which is frightened
That which is weak
The scars I keep
Are from a time of then
I put on my paper
And I come back to them
Someday I’m hoping
To be able to pretend
That this tattered paper
Can be perfect again…

HAHAHAHA

This path i walk
And goal i saught
Was all for naught
Cause everytime i got shot
Just laid to rot
With things you taught
And times we faught
Only sorry cause i got caught

But times have changed
Just like the rain
And i'm insane
But still you play the same game
So whats to say
Im not okay
I wait the day
For memories to fade away

I wonder why
I havent died
When alls inside
Are thoughts for me to cry by
But now its time
To stop this crime
This pain of mine
Is balanced on the fine line

Of love and hate
At times debate
And at this rate
Ill be standing at the late gate
My heart you take
Cause in this state
I will not wake
And i'll never forsake fate

Never Understanding

It appeals to the night side of my lifeless moon

To entrap my soulless wonder before the high noon

Day brought discovery

The night my acceptance

This year of the following

and rapturing decadence

The questions left ringing

If ears hear thoughtless

The mourning their bringing

As I cry to confess this

Why so cryptic?

My life black and white

The lie here is darkness

Upon minds blight

Come here and see me

Stranded in gray

Look upon the sunset

Of rebels last day

Death to the romance

Kill the fool now

Sweat dark with blood

Upon sorrows brow

Does this make things clear?

Or just frighten your senses

Love holds to fear

By popular consensus

You won't understand this

And neither will I

"You'll live to regret this…"

The rebel screams and dies.

Killing The Rebel…

Ill never know if it will be ok

With so much love drifting away

Out of site and out of mind

Poetic versus returned in kind

I welcome back the heart shaped scar

Traveling along the edges of hurt

Marred by impatience

Kept by dreaming

Distracted by the voices screaming

Contemplating life's true meaning

Soaking up the mess

From a heart left bleeding

Taken by the side that knows

The hole that hurts

When the cold wind blows

That icy frost keeps the blooms in holding

Denying life the beauty of showing

Dormant and waiting for the seasons growing

Instead of winters cold hearted knowing

I deny myself the breath to breathe

I won't allow the time to grieve

Just stand and watch you as you leave

Praying to God for a brief reprieve

The kinder side… the romantic rebel

Takes the pain to a higher level

Holding tightly bleeding heart held high

Laughing and crying at the sight of sky

The heartless side… in deep concentration

Smiles at the rebel so full of elation

Knowing the outcome experience driven

The folly of love and the chances given

So am I the fool?

Or am I the killer?

Let love rule?

Or be the sinner?

Ill be the exiled

The still frozen river

Until I'm worth something

Something to give her

The cold air is diminished

The sun is the liar

The killer the truth

And the rebel my fire