Borrowed

I am thankful…

For all that its worth

It was worth it all

Even when the

Verse…

Breaks with the fall

Patient

I am oh so patient

To wait for the never

Not for forever

I take the call

Listen to sorrow

Promising me of tomorrow

Granting me some time to borrow

And I live in it

But watch through dirty windows

As you smile

And here I'll stay for awhile

Living on borrowed grief

And glimpses that are oh so brief

Holding on to my one relief

Confuse me with a misery thief…

But that's not who I am

And you know this

Just the ugly in winters dormant

Absence leaves my soul in torment

Hold my heart for one more moment

Allow my heart to thaw with spring

No telling what the heat will bring

Without the pain of winters sting

I am strong

I am patient

It won't be long

Before my song

Shines as bright

As midnight walks

And palisades…

And silent graves

Autumn leaves

And brief reprieves

Tattered pictures

Fading…

Like the memories

Clouded by pain

And sorrows rain

Mud pies

And honest lies

Held in place

By hearts of glass

And broken moments

I take the time

To listen

A smile that glistens

With frozen tears

For all of my fears…

I'm stranded in hope

Because the rope

Broke with the fall

But through it all…

I love you.

I thank you.

I wait.

Duress

Under fire

Duress being one of my favorite

Collapse leaving no room for boredom

Understanding that we each create our own world

When life was happy…

I cowered underneath itchy bed sheets

In fitful peace

Begging the monotony to cease

Chaos being sweet release

From drowning in stagnant waters

Only floating driftwood

Made up of long dead fathers

Worried callers

And night time bothers

Oh how it must suck to love me

Watch me destroy me

But still wanting to be

Something more…

But please tear me down

As long as I'm next

Your worst is only second best

To my screaming unrest

And unless…

You can deliver duress

Please don't stress

This emptiness…

And please don't wait…

For something more to come from crazy

There's no defeating the past that made me

The death and nightmares that he gave me

Knowing the only thing to save me…

Will be myself…

So come on 'self'

Throw me a line

Give me the strength

To continue

With plastic smiles

And hollow encouragement

Oh and while you're at it…

Save the damned

And be damned yourself

For your trouble

Build them shelter out of your own life's rubble

Even while your own stomach rumbles

And your own world crumbles

Saved the damned

Because they deserve it more than you.

Solace

Still silent night you are my solace…

Starless during the frozen winter

The cold is a comforting reflection

I don't feel the bite

And I don't shut it out

I welcome the chilly numbness with a smile

As the pain fades with the fire

And the embers cool to memories

Leaving a scar upon the cold earth

No longer a comparison of my self worth

But a reminder of my diminishing blunders

Giving me the strength to move on…

I look beyond to empty night sky wonders

Hoping that you're not already gone…

Leaving me to my bitter night succor

Not wanting to fill that void

But still left wanting more…

Than a life better now destroyed

Scattered and strewn across a land of faded dreams

Haunting memories and broken hearted screams

This land of the gone

The land of the wrong

This land of a voice

With a pale echoed song …