My Cryptic Friend

Forget perfect

I'm just trying not to be worthless

Abstaining from pain

Awakening to God's purpose

From underneath life's curses

Before the inevitable

Closing of curtains

Trapping me with myself

Leaving me swimming in guilt

Drowning in choice

Because you never felt

The way that I did

The things that I said

Fell on emotional ear muffs

When life was tough

You ran and hid

Behind self righteous

Indignant blaming

Because life was never enough

Too much of the same thing

Burning in monotony

I take back what you stole from me

These thoughts of you wont let me be

my heart's apart from misery

It's not the devil that keeps me from free

Just these little things trapped inside of me

Until I can rise above the fall

And learn to just forget it all

unable to run but still I crawl

In the general direction of nowhere

In the general direction of anywhere

Of anywhere but here

Of any place not ruled by fear

So I can feel myself feeling again

To welcome back my cryptic friend

And never let it go again

Ever .