I Don’t Want A Moment

I'll just write what comes to mind

Heart and soul, body and mind

True love is all I wanted to find

But to much to ask

And I didn't deserve it

All except the intangible spirit

I feel you there the upsides and down

I know You only needed someone around

But it couldn't be me

I couldn't be free

You couldn't look past

the past for me

to see the future

the pleasure in store

it happened too slow

you wanted more

he was right

I cannot provide

The life you live

The home you reside

But I have something

That no other can give

A reason to smile

A reason to live

I've given you something that I cannot be returned

To hold it myself…

I'd only get burned

The heart of my fire

And the fire of my heart

I don't want to feel

If we must be apart

Take all my love

And the pain that comes with it

Ill keep the formless, intangible spirit

The strength to keep going

And the longing with in

To let fear rule love

Can only be sin

I cannot beg you

I cannot fight

To just spend one more

Glorious night

I don't want a moment

A fraction of bliss

I want to live forever

Within your soft kiss

The Saddest Lines

Tonight I can write the saddest lines
Like this for example.

The night is starry and the stars are blue
And shiver in the distance
The night wind revolves in the skies and sing
"Tonight I can write the saddest lines"
I loved her and sometimes she loved me too
How could I not love those kind brown eyes
Tonight I can write the saddest lines
To think that I no longer have her
To feel that I have lost her
To hear the immense night
Even more immense without her
And the verse falls to the soul
like starlight upon the fire
But what does any of it matter?
That my love could not keep her?
The night is starry and she is not with me
That is all. In the distance someone is singing
In the distance....
In the distance my soul is not satisfied
That it has lost her...
My sight tries to find her
As though to bring her closer
My heart looks for her
and she is not with me
The same night whitening the same trees
We of that time are no longer the same
She sacrificed her love for me
But how I love her still
My voice tried to find the wind
To touch her hearing
Her voice, her heart, her kind brown eyes
I will love her always, that much is certain,
But maybe it will never be the same
because fear conquered true love
and on nights like this
I used to hold her in my arms
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her
And until I find her
If I ever do
I'll aways write
The saddest lines....

Never Again

Now I sit here alone again

My heart bleeding through this pen

How could I let you do it again?

You take them away to spite me

Because I wouldn't let you fight with me

Now they can't spend the night with me?

Just think of yourself

And the hate deep inside

It's always been there

Shouting at me through quiet eyes

Always wrong no matter what I tried

I felt worthless with a lying smile

As long as I let you hurt me

You'd stay for awhile

Wither me down until I bleed

Then laugh because that's what you need

You need me to cry

So you can justify

Yourself….

I smile a little and so you scream

Striving to shatter my only dream

Because this is all my fault

That you never became an adult

Couldn't handle life on your own

Not even after you're grown

Beat my smile into your own

This is all the misery I've shown

I'm gone and I cry

Because you've learned nothing

After all this time

I thought you may have figured out something

I'm not a force against you

I let you do what you wanted

But it wasn't good enough

Because I never wanted anything in return

Other than for you to shut your mouth

Don't hit me or scream at me

This is what life's about?

Black my eye and lie

Tell them I did it to you

A reflection of your guilt

Another painful square

Upon misery's quilt

Cover yourself

And please keep warm

There will never be a dawn

Only a sunset

No regrets from me

I'm finally free

From an abusive life

You never were a caring wife

You just want me

To feel like you

So you can see for yourself

That it was always you

You made the choices

My life is not yours

Accept the things that you have done

Try and have a little fun

Don't cry at your reflection

It will only cry back

Turn and look at me

Instead of looking back

Morning Mourning

My world in turmoil

Lost again to the dark

Walking in late night revelry

Thoughts of you won't let me be

Worry free

This mind of three

Worry me

My heart held fast

By the shadow that walks

To my right side

Danger in the light to the left

Down that road to happiness

Brief and undeserved of real

Smiling secret

My heart held still

By the beginning

Of a new day

Put away

And locked away

Waiting for the sun to fade

Hoping things will never change

By the days progressive stage

Walking aware with midnight sightless

Until the return of daylights blindness

And the chance

Of death to silence

Death to kindness

May be lost

To the spirit of morning

May be lost

To your spirit of mourning...

Absence…

Does absence make the heart grow fonder?
In the cold silence of my life I wonder.
As the bed sheets cool from.....
.....your absence
and your familiar smell grows faint.
Your warmth.....
.....just a memory

imprinted upon our shared pillow
and our combined fragrance erased
by stale cigarettes and salty sadness
The very ghost.....
.....of our
forgotten existence.
I dream of breathing….
Taking a deep breath,
as you exhale yours.
Sharing life and its flavor.
I feel you inside of me.
So very.....
.....brief….
So very.....
.....necessary.....
Letting go of you I awake
To inhale only dust
and long forgotten shadows.
I smell only smoke
as the fires in my heart
fade away with your.....
.....warmth…..

Live With Yourself

Is it dark where you are?
hard to see your pain
Does it make you happy
To witness loves last rain
The Sky cannot ignore me
Forever lost is sadness
In your heart you see me
through the eyes of madness
Burn me down with twisted lies
drive my heart into your darkness
Fuel my desire with your hate
in the face of what is real
intangible unmovable fate
Tell her how I really feel
like you know
which only goes to show
your color
never you just the other
tell her dad and tell her mother
how I'm bad like you
and bad like her
because you were never sure
playing with lives like we didn't matter
I'll be on the other side
wondering what you were thinking
when you created your dreams
achieving your nightmare
blaming me for what went wrong
cause you couldn't hear our song
with the lusty moans of your existence
playing through your ears
forgetting all your fears
is it dark where you are?
With out the light of a second lover
never you just the other
your true color
lies undercover
the only change you ever made
was the bed you refused to lie in
and now I hear you crying
out to me and out to her
but do you really know for sure
what it takes to lie in light
just to roll over on another night
How much longer
before I become your prop?
My heart was breaking
but you wouldn't stop.
Too curious to see your lie
playing lives like we were flies
what did you expect from hurt
am I to bury my heart in dirt
Just to let you live again
when all you ever wanted
Was a piece of me and a piece of her
Cause you were never sure
Is it dark where you are?

Is It Dark?

Send my thoughts to you
the void that echo's my soul
Relive the pictures inside my head
for now we stand alone
the infinite and last light shone
and we are here…
Finally something more than dream
with nothing more to hate
is it dark where you are?
Have the people changed?
It makes me happy you're so strange
and in my darkest hour
I hold onto flame
burning me gently
devouring those that stand near