Forced My Pen...

She stole my pen, my heart, and my sanity
Disillusioned minds say a prayer to saint valentine
How long will it be before my lines again are mine
When the blood that I write with cools with your absence
I still hear your whispers
Hushed in the silence
But encasing my pen with your spirit
I cry as I write for you…
Page after page…
I still write for you
Prisoner penning writing dark lines
Eyes now blind to parchment
You torment my poetry
With your dormant memories
That surface when I close my eyes
And you rape me with whispers
There's something I wanted to write...
But your image was much quicker
Than the smiles I see in tiny lives
My only smiles are now sad
Reflecting on situations so bad
Every door I go through…
A horror story fun house of mirrors
Reflecting my past in every direction
Laying my pain bare without discretion
The only part I care to hide
Stands naked and dying on the inside
But still I try
To pen out new memories
Rewrite my own history
Live to the fulfillment of Gods mystery
I look down write with eyes wide shut
Look down at the pages… words in red blood
Just to see
That you truly took all of me
You left
Took nothing
Took everything
Left me blind to my own story
How can this be?
You cheated with my pen
Then left
With my poetry...

Because I Have To

Demanding poetic competence
Words being our only offense
Against evil lyrical ignorance
A league against incompetence
Ever expanding our consciousness
Taking all that we want from this
And that is why I write like this
Just my way of making sense
Of a world that fails at promised bliss
Just do the fucking math dude
I don't care if these words seem rude to you
I write this shit because I have to
Not caring what the others do
Other wise I'm just another guy
That looked right by
The pretty plastic lies
No my words aren't shy
Their meant to be a surprise
To open up your blind eyes
To a metaphor
That you've never seen or heard before
Leaving your mind a little sore
But keeps you running back for more
And the leagues got plenty left in store
So what again do we do it for?
We do it for the masses
Who witness others of another color
Have advantages in racist classes
For a young mind that’s strong
Who never did anything wrong
Other than birth to a poor mans song
Punishing those who don’t know the lyrics
To the music that echoes inside the bricks
As long as my heart pumps ink
I'll never stop to think
I'll never even blink
Before the oppressive minds sink
As a society we are standing on the brink
Of a new age...
Where truth is printed on every page
Where the majority have seniority
Over the ashy sight of conformity
Creating a small degree of normalcy
While awareness is sleeping dormantly
Again I don't write this just to please you
I write this shit because I have to...

My Emotional Tangle

I faked it when I said it was evident
You didn't make it because you took too long
I can't shake this feeling of aggression
Its not considered rape if your soul is gone

I developed inconsistencies
When a piece inside died silently
Troubled by society
Uncontrollable, shaking, frightening
This world has become so blind to me...

Embracing the darkness I welcome the cold
Facing my senses I strongly with hold
My egomaniacal trials of boldness
Still, silent, soaking up the coldness
Releasing my grip, refusing to hold this
Despair being to much to let me expose this

Being lonely tastes so sweet
Compared to phony tasteless treats
Sneaking out before the day
Shines its light on a tasteless lay
Blinds the treat bathed in gray
Fake number with full ash trays
Stepping out with nothing to say
Other than...

My despair didn't care who got in the way
As long as it lived to share in its touch
Caressing your heart way to much
Leaving you feeling tiny bits
Of the echoes of my turbulent grips of crying fits
Lonely nights of internal fights
Forcing the occasional
Emotional tangle
Of heart strings

...and...I'm sorry...

Rescinding To Dream…

Slipping softly from reality

To a distant place…

Rescinding to dream

Where thoughts take flight

Flying high along my mind

Tracing the darkening waters

Along the edges of the sunset

I see the waves crashing on a moonlit shore

Tasting the beauty…

But still left wanting more

Beyond this transcended reality

Passed the boundary of human fallacy

As the time of night draws nearer

I see an image becoming clearer

Held immortal in the endless skies

A constellation besets my eyes

Her image is there!

Frozen, timeless, forever

I stand on the shore littered

With fleeting memories of day

Breathless, devoid of words to say

The beauty ensnares me

Wraps me in bliss

Leaving me wondering

Will I ever be able to kiss…?

This image so pure

This refection of soul

Will her dark beauty

Be too much for me to hold…?

I Can’t Call It…

The inherent fallacy

in all of humanity
is that we all collectively
are lacking symmetric energy
we all feel the need
to feed
which plants the seeds
of greed
and in turn the search for more green…
funny it seems…
that we are all just animals
climbing to the top of the food chain
then turning into cannibals
all of us innocent
and all of us fallible
suddenly sin
becomes understandable
as our inner struggle as mammals
becomes more palatable…
chewing up the debauch eristic
the seductive argument
how each of us wants all of it…
you define it as "evolved"
but I don't know what to call it…

My Catastrophe

With your myspace pages

False projecting fake ages

And impossible made up wages

You born from the self

With a small's'

Egomaniacal persecution

Of self reliable

Projected prisons

And don't you wish you were livin

Like the culture stars

That made it far

On their parents money

And I find it funny

How the poor pay riches

To enrich their lives

In tattered stitches

Then whine like little bitches

Because they're dreams wound up in gutter ditches

I guess their designer sunglasses finally got too big for their face

Falling to the ground in such a way

That those you chose to save face

Can finally look into your eyes

And see that your lives

Were built on lies

And disgrace…

I realize

That what you need

Is to spiritually

Enrich your mind

With deep humility

And it's a sin to me

To see my kids living

In mediocrity

Better that

Than a lack

Of humanity

Because your vanity

Prevents you from

Understanding me

But how can it be

That I too fall victim to society

Leaving me to chastise

My own blind eyes

Indiscriminately

I irreverently encode

My perception of reality

To behold and mold

My own soul

On life's tapestry

I seek mastery

Over this self made catastrophe

That is all of me…

I dissolved to be

More evolved and free

But finding

My mind too involved

With face painted smiling

Of daily life's grinding

That my poetry

Is in slow motion

When my feelings

Could fill oceans

With my emotions

I'm with holding

From grabbing hold of dream

From making life seem

So much harder

Than it has to be…

...That's My Catastrophe