Gods Riddle...

I just don’t feel this world
Disconnected, disjointed, and unwhole
I just don't feel this world no more
My only connection now faded
Only my mind this pen and these pages
This sky, those people, that steeple, all unrelated
Looking down at this path, and how far I've made it
I must be the villain of my unfinished story
Living in this life of sin all I can do is worry
I guess I just need an understanding
My patience, My trust, crash landing
The government, the church, are fast handing
so all of my convictions come landing
In quick sand and she made me
Not feel this world no more
Leaving me love shy and sore
Ass hurts from the door that closed the day before
Hot tears ran freely until they froze around my heart
Walling in the sorrow keeping the pain apart
From the facade that’s become me smiling for my child
Taming the sadness, keeping grief from running wild
Throw me a line… I can't climb over the walls I built
I say that I'm fine… in truth I am drowning in pools of guilt
I'm sorry sweet heart I couldn't feel the world
Couldn't save nothing from becoming nothing
Couldn’t stop mommy from laughing
When she closed the door with you and me wondering what's happening
Death to the Christmas carol fiendish hearts living feral
Sinful living unforgiving in the eyes of little children
Hatred dripping and I'm unrelenting…
Constantly venting to silent walls that crumble
Seeing trouble as a pin prick to burst my bubble
Just when I thought is was going alright
You creep into my bedroom in the middle of the night
Laying down on the cold side of the bed and resting your head
One question you said… will mommy be alright?
I pretend I didn't hear you...
Just bury my face further into the salty sadness
Of my down comforter sinking into faulty madness
Even though this world went cold
And my words fail me…
I hope that when I hold on to you little lady
You know that God sent you to save me…
Made you pretty made you smart
Made you all the things that I'm not
You are my strength you are my grip
You are my rock when reality starts to slip
You are my savior my saintly 6 year old neighbor
Sent to this world to make me feel it a little
Sent to me as an answer to God's riddle