Fucked Over

I dream of a time...
I'm free from my mind…
since I designed this crime
My thoughts are stolen by a rhyme

Just a test of my testament...
sooo arrest me bitch...
you can't do nothing since
I came to flame I climbed the fence

Black walls are slowly closing in...
that’s the way with sin...
I struggle to get over them
inside my mind I never win cause

Forgiveness is for the weak...
Relive this for my sweet...
nightmare only stares
still stuck on a losin' streak

Damn you for how you treated me
I only came to see...
that the very air you breath
is polluted with the taste of me

Now get the fuck away from me
my killer eyes see everything
fuck this stress you gave to me
I cant believe you lied to me

For all this shit you'll rot in hell
for all I'll miss I just won't care
even though you were never there
the void is felt by a soul laid bare

And If the road to hell was paved with good intentions…
then I stand in flames after stepping on shitty women

And if every cloud has a silver lining
then I'm still waiting for my darkest thoughts to start their shining

And if there really is a man behind the emerald curtain…
I'll hold onto all my prayers until I know what's certain...

I Picture... I Cast Away

Paint me a picture…
Brush strokes passing consciousness
Mental By Ways of dark essence
Whispers that meet, converge, that touch
Dreaming mind I want you, seek you, hold on to you
Far too much…
And its such… a pleasure every measure of song
Dark rhythms are a treasure that forever my wrongs

Just because you were nice to me…
Meeting me, greeting me, into your day dreams it was nice to see
A being so full of energy wrapped in rhythmic mystery
Destroying my sanity with your poetic mastery

Laughing as you fed off my heart
reached in my soul and tore it apart
Used the remains to wipe blood from your face
Then kissed my lips with a lyricists taste

Just a picture a reminder to take with you
Just an idea for you to contemplate
Relive the memory of every mans fate
I feel nothing… so I can't call it rape

I see the truth in the flames of burning bodies
I smell the life as its burned from all society
I see the lies etched on smiling faces
I taste the pain of the entire congregation

But I still don't feel you…
I still can't hear you
I refuse to kneel to you
But still I want to be near you
Dear to you, and I fear you too

Because the nights get shorter in summer
The light that beckons from the love of another
Casting my dreams to the seas of the formless
Keeping the creators paint in a state of amorphous

Erasing the chaste with petrichor taste
God bleeds the waste of humanities fate
From the tip of my creating pencil
Footnotes to Gods notes making shit simple

Knowledge only weakens my resolve
I revolve around the voices involved
Dreaming, Screaming, puzzles unsolved
The way these nightmares evolved
Expanding to nothing...
Demanding of nothing...
Understanding leaving me
As all of my dreams cast out to formless seas...

Washed Away

I cast stones at myself for doing nothing
For wasting my heart, my truth, my madness
Late night walks that never ended
Wandering mind trailing
Footsteps put distance from sadness
Tear drops flooding my thoughts
Washed away by, solidified by, my trailing mind, I
Cry out to darkness… soul sailing on prevailing highs
Take my heart I despise the tide rising inside my eyes
Set me apart from the light, the warmth, the skies
Its sick... this joke… the sunrise so thick with lies
Why not destroy slowly, all of this silent knowing
Assassins of light, killers of God, forces of slowing
Empty bottles and roaches, sin in seamed into wet dreams
Subconscious attacks, unperfected devil of honorable metal
My soul breathes the exhalation of a killers hesitation
Relishing the moment of brief reprieve
Walking along shores with darks seas
Footprints washed away by a moments hesitation...

Heart Full Of Vengeance...

Why do I try to cry out to a blinded mind
I'm love shy struck by the childish designs of I
Screaming by my dreaming mind waving bye
To your love drive by as you hit me hard with closed eyes
Surprise! I fell for your lies but out of ashes I will arise
To counteract in kind with a vengeful mind you'll find
In time that the shivers on your spine are mine…

I didn’t ask for perfect and honestly the slick shit
Never crossed my mind but how could I design
Or predict the lines on slit wrists bitch you threw a fit
Now come off it you lost it you fostered in a new kid
And he wasn't mine but still I climbed to new heights
You proved me right with blank stares and loose lips
Cant believe I stooped to this level I'm stupid
Where was cupid when I went though this bullshit to prove it …

I just fucked you with my BIC I'm pissed
the anger adds up too much to list
you say you quit but come back
so masochistic its sick
I draw upon your senses then end
the pleasure quick
I fixed your drink
with a little bit of sadistic kill quick I meant it
just check the volume when I spill all of this shit
ill end your life quick, pouring quick-crete on your feet
I'll meet you in heaven when I lose to life's beat
rhythmically rocking senses to deep sleep
your lines are cheap how can I keep
my composure when its over putting feelings
to pen definitions to sin where do I begin
to attack your morally self righteous mind
inside of my grind…

Haha

Don’t worry I haven't lost it I'm fine
At least after I drink your blood like fine wine
Just like your ass was Jesus Christ
I've been blinded twice how could I miss…
I feel like the abused wife with 2 black eyes
its nice to find true romance returned in kind
but to the divine mind the shit is worthless…
I'll give my penance to slit wrists, poetic misfits, the misunderstood,
and the quick to kill bitches for illicit miscreance

now there's my 2 cents spend it on a personality or fixed width…

...Bitch.

You don't fuckin' know me...

Ash Angels

I made snow angels out of the ashes
Manifested by our burned out passion
a fire that’s hard wired
into the collective mind
of gods pure design…
love burned and wasted
wanting it so bad I can taste it
a relationship stating
that we finally made it
despite the times
we were forced to fake it
paint on a smile
and carry on awhile
with weights on our ankles
treading water
until we both drown each other
because neither one of us trusts the other
a father and a mother
with doubts about another
a hidden love undercover…
is it true… is she mine…?
or am I the naïve one with a love struck mind?
I've never been the kind of guy
to sit back and wonder why
the punishment never fit the crime
but as long as there is doubt
It will be hard to find
that feeling of perfection
the divine answer
to the questioning mind…
ill just stay on my grind…
bidding my time...
until I can feel this world again…
until I can be my friend again…
one last time.

Granuals

So what now?
Time comes and goes leaving us in the throws of aging woes
without the capacity to know how much we individually have grown…
taking a look in the mirror to show

my own eyes how quickly the fires died inside my mind I grind
my sanity down to fine granules inside the hourglass becoming sands of time
that flow to the bottom of my soul and roll out of existence with the force of a dying sun
screaming to the depths of dark waters and manifesting into pearls inside the mouths of shadows

until the gleaming nightmares of a dying memory
wake me from my night time revelry
stealing the light from inside of me
until the very thought of happiness is blind to me

but just before the darkness settles in my mind I see
the last granules of a smile disappear forever into the dark waters of my imagining
leaving me
in an amnesiac state of dreaming
longing to be free
from all that’s left within me...

I See You God

So much rage and pain inside
I don’t know why I fade before day
nothing to say but stay away

a lonely heart cant hate
and an angry mind only sates
itself on the misery of the pure

I couldn’t tell you I'm really not sure
how I hooked my life on the lure
fishing in the dark waters of my own existence
I only seek redemption from penance
but pull out hatred in the semblance
of a ghost who wanders the shores of my thoughts
laying to rot all the good things I sought
and with all the old man has taught
he forgot to mention that wisdom cant be bought
only sold to the lowest bidder as I take another shot
I sold my wisdom to Jose and Jack to crown royal and pot
begging for ignorance to make my thoughts stop

how am I supposed to be happy when you made me this smart
exchanging my heart for an intellect from the start
old man I think you made a mistake
as I remake my fate I try and relate
to a deity that invented hate without any debate
from the inhabitants of your habitat

what kind of shit is that?

I think creationism needs an edit button
I think I need to see you DO somethin'

Its not all your fault though...
There is plenty of evidence suggested to us
that we as humans don't know what's best for us
but why are you constantly testing us?
Setting us up in front of a moving bus
only to be silent as we slowly lose trust
in a religion that’s gone bust
but believe in you I must
because you made the devil when you created us...

I see you God I know you're there
its not that I don’t believe
I just don’t think you care

Insignificant

I'm crippled by an honest nature
watching liars and fakers
become the movers and shakers
of a world that’s never met its maker

in this life there are givers and takers
smiling at nothing and crying at everything
and what do I bring to a table of kings
attended by dogs that snap at scraps
with full bellies and life on tap

what can I possibly offer that?
Just my 2 cents perhaps...

If the pathway to happiness included a map
I would ignore the dollar signs and take my heart back
because all of the money stacks
wouldn’t keep me from feeling the lack
wouldn’t stop the attack
of an honest heart gone black

so what's left but to smile with tread marks on my face
what's left but to savor the taste
of gutter water exclaiming yes that’s great!

You give shit and I take it
but only because I refuse to fake it
id rather mold the formless and remake it
then sit back and pretend that you was truth when you ain't shit

I'd rather eat my meal with saints of the void
then watch you dine with kings and be destroyed…
Shed my definitions, thought forms, and toys
While you play men and die like little boys

Where's the fun in a life that’s gone twisted
How could I have come this far and still missed it?
This is just the start of a purposeless existence
When there is no heart to fight off the semblance
Of a world in chaos living off fake redemption
Maybe God forgot or maybe failed to mention
knowledge can be learned but you cant teach wisdom
That we make up this world in our visions
Based upon the integrity of our intentions