Who am I? (Drowning with a dream...)

Who am I?

Seems a question i should have long since answered
but the complexities of its nature plague the mind like cancer...

prolonging the inevitable choices by peppering my logic with flights of fancy...

dreams I breathe fade into existence like clouds that bleed...

obscuring the obstacles, the marauders...
I dance... look can you see?...

Distorted realities attack my wilted rose and the petals that fall
will ripple through my dark waters to distort the reflections cast down by my bleeding clouds...

pitter pattering droplets pound softly as my dreams drum their life away
and succumb to dark watered tombs and ripple outward

until lost and marooned...
on an isle under my brightest moon...

a secret place...

where desires are encouraged to taste the waters of a forgotten fate
where even darkness roams free and safe from all of your "UNDERstanding"

the ships that you're sailing to carry away my fallen petals
will disappear forever beyond the veil of my limitations to become immortalized within my convictions...

wouldn't it have been easier just to pay attention?

Or can you not afford the price paid in truth?
A self sacrificing altar with the body of virgin youth...

peddling away our innocence for the morsels
dropped by the denizens of the human heart

we invision a lust that can sustain us remake us remove the pain of self inflicted shame cuz...

we are ultimately affraid of... a reflection...
of not having any direction of dying without having survived lifes lessons...

I'm afraid...

and not ashamed to admit it... i've left dreams in the darkness unrequited

but who am I?

I used to be indifferent...

a casual observer in the maelstrom of my evolving imagination
a divination of the reflection of my dimming soul...

but now... who have I become but a martyr?

a shit starter...

screaming at the injustice of a world spiraling down the storm drain of malcontent
with every single last breath spent...

and wasted...

just to repent to the devils shadow and indulge on the tasteless droppings of human waste
as more bullshit fills the shoes and sheets of suit wearing sheep...

haven't we all inadvertently left stains on the white carpets of faith?
aren't we all liars, flip flopping, self serving egotists?

Sadists and Masochists enlisting the fallen excuses of the fallen useless?
Don't they say that truth is... in the eye of the beholder?

aren't we all the molders of reality?

and with truth in our eyes... we are blinded...
constantly searching to rewind our faults to a time when...

we were perfect?
HaHa such a notion is worthless...

yet we continue to chase those feathers into the wind storms of our own creation
and then cry when the wrath of a true God takes our toys away...

but please stay... at least for awhile until I clear my throat from this bile...
become a little more docile with the homicidal...

as the dust settles on blood scratched parchment
I see that I need no pattern no rhyme that rations

my thoughts...

and I don't need a metaphor...
I can paint murder and make it an art form with dry bristles...

because really all the semantics mean little
and everything I have to teach is in the clear steady tones of the proverbial whistle

and the casting of chicken bones along the uneven stones of my path
with unequivocal, unambiguous wrath I take chances on ambitious plans

and reach high...

living up to my full potential and I try...

to reach higher than the devils shadow... and I scream...
while trapped beneath the waves of my dark waters... drowning with a dream...

Deception

I write today inspired by your lies...

Deception runs evident...

In rivulets decent from ocular madness
I deciphered the patterns from your water falling caverns

trickling its last drop into pools along our feet
salt burning the cuts from our rat race ragged pursuit of bitterness's sweet
symphonic sodomy punishing along the inside of all of me...

Why chase feathers decorated with shards of 'forever after'
when the scars left behind breezed along with the echoed laughter of my devoured countenance...
Wintered expressions wither further with deceptions...

As my smile hibernates along the edges of due north...
Truth bitch... Can you seek it? NO... "of course not"

shy away from reality as the ego cannot be fought
just deprived of all thought or has all cognitive reasoning been tossed up and forgot?

Smoke some marijuana or has all of "loves seasoning" been lost amongst the rot?
Call it what you wanna but I'm still dreaming of a moment long since forgotten...

Slipping along the revelry of my brainwaves behaving as children at play
teeter tottering on a merry go round ...

...As a thousand voices screaming being my only back drop of sound...

So cry those tears...

Even as your mask plots an attack
the cold logic facts wont push back the traps you lay for your reasoning...

Because sometimes even seeing doesn’t equate to believing...

And you lost your faith in me...

I Like To Pretend...

I like to pretend...

That there is no tomorrow with out there being an "US"

like I would die in my sleep
as the warmth cooled from your imprint
and left me stranded in disbelief
as the world stood still for me...

For without the light that gave birth to our connection
the world would grow dark and turn the opposite direction...

...All of existence would sit stop and look
as the daylight flipped like a new page in an old book.

I like to pretend...

That there is no ending without our beginning...
Like Armageddon's fire merely lit the candle light on our night stand ...

Like tasting each others heavenly desires
before we unleash hell by the glow of hearth fires...

...Burning alongside our sin and devotion
like the world burning along the edge of its oceans and I pretend...

...And I dream...

I envision a love without end or freeze
a love that carries through the strife like wings to a breeze
with a passion that transcends all time and disease
an ever last bastion over shadowing dark watered seas

In similar fashion to your gazes reaction...
A welcome distraction from the cold in my soul...

... As my heart melts away with me...

And I pretend... And sometimes I forget...

...That I'm gifted...

Not talented or special but spiritually lifted...

I guess the lord knew I would need a flame in the night, a ghost in the dark,
a spark to carry through the gloom when my heart would fall apart.

But I remember times... So many times...

I sat trapped inside my head...
...a prisoner wrapped within the confines of his own personal dread...

But you were there for me...

...Or so I pretend.

Egoic Trinity ('I Am')

Filthy animal 'I am'... I stole the gift of over-grand-standing from Intelligent Designs my crimes range from those of the inhumane to those of the insane as every thought is a wish upon the universe...

You see 'I am' master of this game... The riddler, the one-verse, the new verse, the pale horse and the stretch hearse. The pen with a sickle starts to trickle a little life on life made simple...

Then more complex as I flex and digest the unrest of a billion souls laid to rest and yes... I will test that intellect into "X's" and "Checks" with balances not met yet, all for a promise to never scribe my best yet.

Because 'I am' a beastly creature mentally scared like horror features for thought processes... The eastern star teacher... My nightmare reaching deep for the keeper of secrets... 'I am' the seeker of deep seeded dreams...

'I am' Realities rip torn at the seams as I set fire to the emerald curtain and scream into the faces of false prophets spittin' vomit peppered to taste like wanton lust with the smell of dust as He breathed life into all of us...

But everyone just trust... And sleep sound... No one will rape you when the laws not around... No one will leave him dead on the ground... Just trust... The only being that cares is 'us'

That’s why 'I am' the manifestation of religious blood lust come full circle to bite the tails of tales in the bud-ding blossoms of a good mans wails :UH:

'I am' the sad clown turned wicked, the juggler of jugulars and I ripped it from the throats of poets in 16 bars don’t quote it yet because I'm not finished stacking cold dishes on the proverbial plate of my revenge, bitches...

'I am' the darkness twisted the chaotic heart beats demented to the rhythms of always smiling women, eyes wide open in intimate moments for fear of love stroking the life outta me

So Fly with me... Vibe with me... Ride with me on the waves of free speaking seas and breath life with me... For 'I am' you... And you are me... Combined with darkness... To form the... Essence of humanities Egoic Trinity...

My Dark Twisted Fantasy

MMM let me taste those illicit dark demonesstic lips...
Quick to whip bad girls into fits of twisted bliss
dark leather strips across red marked hips... That’s a start little bitch...

Now follow my nightmare into your wet dream...
we'll both scream as you cream your delights across my demonic sight
in a rush of excitement and fright as you realize my intentions to go all night...

Before I chloroform your form for a daylight rest
Right before more nocturnal tests of pain tolerance... Yes...
You ain't goin no where whore...

Just a brief reprieve from wet nightmare dreams before you awake begging for more...
So what's the "O" score? Crimson roman numerals etched along your flesh board...
Otherwise known as your back...

and what's that? Don't talk back or you're bound to get that ass slapped "CRACK"
I guess I better put that gag back... For your own protection...
How can you open your mouth and still learn my dark lesson?

You see... I am master... And you are slave...
pain erasing the morality with the pleasure that I gave...

evidence displayed with wetness as I press this blade into the entrance of hells cage and I confess this I mix my desire with rage then relish the sight of you and the changes that I made...

From closet freak to my meat on sheets...
Here's a little treat mama cita...

a little release from intimate tease as I beat the good girl out of ya... Ya that’s sweet.

Just the tip as I flick those hemp bound tits and twist your close lined clit into grips of dripping bliss...

Here... Sit on this little miss as I kiss those dark trembling lips and embark on another journey into black heart misery ready for the start of cathartic intimacy so make ready...

For my fantasy...

My lust is a dark passenger in a 57' Chevy with no answers... And you're in the trunk...
Drugged up and tied up like a good little slut waiting to be plugged the fuck up...

But don’t worry about getting knocked up cunt... Good girls like you could never make a man cum...

But don't worry sweetness... I'll let you try... ;)


~Chaotic Virgo

What Did I Do?

How does one ever begin to convey the feelings of loss of destruction today...

I've leapt I've dived I've ripped my heart out and died
for the feeling of dismissal the indifferent missile like deaths razor sharp sickle
I don’t understand all the needless reprimand
or how you can stand to walk off with a man

knowing I'm held back holding out son as a ward against attack...
It’s the truth... A cold honest fact...
That between me and you I've got it good I've got it bad...
Jealous beyond the boundaries of demands...

No ring on your finger... No truth to my promise...
I just thought after it all you'd be honest
but I cannot expect, demand, or regard
The flawed nature of your being walking the side of the boulevard.

Because really? What the fuck did I do?...
Other than swallow the jagged pill stand up and stay true...
What did I do beside give my life to you?

This is all just a dream a fucking nightmare...
The image of you and of her... I need to repair...
I'm lost on my own... And you control my spirit
wake me when my good deeds suddenly have merit...
Cant stand but to share it I tried not to scare it...
Just stood, gritted my teeth and bared it...
I'd like to let it all loose... But I choose to despair it...
After the facts too late don’t know if I can mirror it...

I fear all of it but sit back and quit
the rise of the tide inside my minds jealous side....
Because I don’t have the right no engagement in sight...
I'm a fucking donor... The creator of life but in life there are 23 chromosomes pushed to the side...

This ride goes on too long for me to just hide...
Set me on a path of unforgiving mass... I traveled down at last after your time came to pass...

And don’t hear me...

Oh no whatever you do don’t hear me...

Let me be the whispers that gnaw at your pride
let me be the reason you stood up and lied
let me be the tears that fell when you cried
and let me be the knife for a life of suicide...

Beautiful Insanity

Love knows no boundaries, no heights, and no reason...

I kill for love, speak ill of love... I eat mother fucking pills for love...
But I gotta have it...

Because I got a habit for the manic, the hopeless romantic...

I Find the beauty in the unseeing eyes of tragic fanatics killed by heart string love tactics

I gotta know if its enough to reach up and snatch it...

from the hands of the divine and melt two minds in mine...
I gotta know what its like to intertwine
be one with thy
one sun in one sky
come on now lets fly... Give a little psycho fellowship a try...

because I...
Am only creating a vibe...
Still hot breath on thighs...
Wrapped with cold dead flesh... SURPRISE!

Let me get you wet...
Then shock your cerebellum into a symphony of forget...
At the very least you can hate me... But still feel the beast...
ALL YOU ZOOPHILIACS rape me like prom dates in Cadillac's
as I sharpen my shank to cut bullshit and take stabs at facts

because when I write its shit in my grin or blood on my pen
its pain or fun, emotions that run, or dead poets and a smoking gun

as shadows laugh
at epitaphs
skin graphs
from road rash
as I pass
the path
of good intentions...

and wear darkness like Prada
cross dressing evil like I gotta make the devil smaller...

So...
Haha...
I love...

...At All Times...

But may seem numb from daily grinds
and saddened by reflected crimes...

But I love...

...At All Times...

At all costs and without reason
I love for the sake of feeling
without a heart there is no meaning
just breathing, shitting, eating, sleeping...
A darkness with no room for dreaming...

So...
Haha...
I live...

...Sometimes...

Sometimes the life is quenched inside
by syphoning off your projected pride...
Feeding off the residual emotion
the aftermath of pain and devotion
where resentment can run as deep as oceans
and hatred puts her plan into motion.

...Drip...Drip...Drip...Drip...

Insanity slips like my realities grip
until I'm falling... Laughing along the way recalling...

A Stereogram Metaphor That I Once Heard Before...

...HAHAHA...

...think about that insanity...


...HAHAHA...

I Write With Thoughts From Rock Bottom

Can you see it? Fly with me...

Another dream to see free speaking breeze along your intentions...
The invention of interventions failed to listen when slit wrists like lips failed to mention
a bad habit in contention with the semantics of emotional contradiction
With this comes a simple reality derived from fiction

READ YO BOOK LIKE YA LEARN SOMFIN ...
Or blow up an orphanage because a dead guy spoke SOMFIN
words in red like he actually wrote SOMFIN

why should he die because the same guy gave him amnesty
can you not fathom the tragedy of this reality?

Get up stand up Bob Marley the fuck up and trust...
There is no reason that we must make this much fuss
over tabernacles layered in rust and historical leaders with religious blood lust
just shut the fuck up and fly with us... Or die with us
neither one of us inclined to end war time crimes "In God We Trust"

Allowing these thoughts to spin into chaos
twisting the loss into a storm cloud of rot
for all of the spinning the progress stopped

and laid stagnant the eye of the storm funneling madness
right into the sweet spot of my joy like magnets
sticking to my soul like deaths sweet kisses
the deafening screams but no one seemed to listen...

as the light got pulled from my sight tonight
my brother laid dead in the street tonight...

...But you didn't think about that...

Before you smiled and spat before the scab healed over my graveyard tat
you sat back and laughed and grabbed at heart string facts

but don’t know what to call 'em...
Justice is this... Click... Clock... I Got 'em...
all of these tears but lord I don't want 'em...
so I let my heart ink from thoughts of rock bottom.

I let you think I scribed then forgot 'em
I write sheets to breeze along my senses
I write to keep myself from going senseless
I write to hear when my heart won't listen
I write to let go... move on... be forgiven...

Beauty In Death

Alright pops... I know you can't speak with me... Well... at least not on this frequency... But let me speak about me and how your absence left me... Walking through life aimlessly...


Yeah... I've lied... I've fought...

I've left all my good thoughts to rot in the compost pile of forgotten smiles and still I stand...

Breathing deep the aroma for awhile as I contemplate my current situation
on the proverbial plate of my current station...

I laugh at the tears as they drip from the waste
and I taste the fears as they leak from her face
and I feel the burn of a long winded race
as I chase feathers into the recess of fate...

Chase but never catch,
create but never last,
the past will last as long as
the shame of past mishaps

sing a song for the infamy
rising up inside of me
destroying me entirely
and yes I miss him direly...

But what can you do?
God saw fit to take his breath from you...

now all that’s left is the dew drops on scattered ashes
the salty wetness on sheets and mattresses
a picture of you is a reflection of madness

and the night time screaming dreaming haunts replaying memories once burned and forgot...

And yeah... I've lived... I've cried...

So now I leave all my good thoughts to die in the compost pile of forgotten smiles and still I stand...

Waiting for someone to help me understand
is there really no justice? no holy reprimand?

by painting loosely framed pictures from "truth" derived from scripture
when there's a living beast inside of me feeding quicker
I need to breathe so I chose the lesser of two evils...
Egotistical... or the flesh and blood of His stolen steeple...

c'mon people lets welcome the reaper
and stand fast with hearts at half mast
take all of the blind faithless to task
and remember what we came for...

Seek a little truth through metaphor and inspire,
climb high and aspire to new heights and retire
when our hearts of fire grow heavy with time and make ready...

For unchartered waters through deep seas of blind imagining and let your soul sing...

So yeah... I've sinned... And I breathe...

As I leave all my thoughts to grieve in a compost pile of deep imagining and still I stand... Still I sing...

What Did I Do?

How does one ever begin to convey the feelings of loss of destruction today...

I've leapt I've dived I've ripped my heart out and died
for the feeling of dismissal the indifferent missile like deaths razor sharp sickle
I don’t understand all the needless reprimand
or how you can stand to walk off with a man

knowing I'm held back holding out son as a ward against attack...
It’s the truth... A cold honest fact...
That between me and you I've got it good I've got it bad...
Jealous beyond the boundaries of demands...

No ring on your finger... No truth to my promise...
I just thought after it all you'd be honest
but I cannot expect, demand, or regard
The flawed nature of your being walking the side of the boulevard.

Because really? What the fuck did I do?...
Other than swallow the jagged pill stand up and stay true...
What did I do beside give my life to you?

This is all just a dream a fucking nightmare...
The image of you and of her... I need to repair...
I'm lost on my own... And you control my spirit
wake me when my good deeds suddenly have merit...
Cant stand but to share it I tried not to scare it...
Just stood, gritted my teeth and bared it...
I'd like to let it all loose... But I choose to despair it...
After the facts too late don’t know if I can mirror it...

I fear all of it but sit back and quit
the rise of the tide inside my minds jealous side....
Because I don’t have the right no engagement in sight...
I'm a fucking donor... The creator of life but in life there are 23 chromosomes pushed to the side...

This ride goes on too long for me to just hide...
Set me on a path of unforgiving mass... I traveled down at last after your time came to pass...

And don’t hear me...

Oh no whatever you do don’t hear me...

Let me be the whispers that gnaw at your pride
let me be the reason you stood up and lied
let me be the tears that fell when you cried
and let me be the knife for a life of suicide...

Band-Aids for Heart

Some times I feel taken for granted
which I guess is the cost of being a hopeless romantic
I get frantic at the thought of us creating static
or making a bad habit out of the emotionally tragic

its sad to last this long and go down with out a fight
years of loving you... All destroyed in one night...
Two souls in a hurricane stumbling forward just to get blown back
and it’s a fact that the passion we had could last all night
just to wake in the morning and it go out like a light.
In my mind we are two halves of the same dime
tight rope walking along the edges of both lines
coin flipping to mirror the image of same sides…
indifferent whispers of "yes love… its fine"

I can't take this stress... this cold heartedness...
the push back of black indifference has me vexed
beyond imagining white flags and black gag's keep the soul from singing
wake me demon I'm sure my love is dreaming
comatose romance silently screaming
out to you echoing along the edges of NOT-A-DAMN THING
but me heavily breathing...

The resentment is evident displaying a prevalence of silent nights like Christmas
how long before one of us says we're not with it? Walk away now forget this... lets end this quick
before its too late to accept this...

Its not fair. Its not right. To keep these kids awake all night...
wishing for a band aid for the heart…
so they can repair the damage before it all falls apart…
isn't it funny… how a in the mind of a child…
the thoughts are powerful and yet so wild
a band aid fixes everything…
peroxide and gauze
a quick kiss to move on with just cause...
or maybe we could all walk it off… eat a little ice cream. That'll fix everything...

right daddy?... Right daddy? right... daddy….?...

Wild minds slip off to bleak dream rocked to sleep by broken glass, love lost, and screaming...

My Pen Drippings... (...I'm Sorry...)

Another day to make shame fade before day…

the light shines a little brighter but is it enough to ease the suffering from past mishaps and shitty circumstance?

Time my only friend now... letting the embers die and the passion cool... the memories fade as new news, new drama, and busy bee blunders of the human race continue to ebb away at my own misfortune...

My eye lids close to the still dark shadows of my thoughts as they tumble across my heart like crowns of thorns... blowing breezily across the icy remains of my good intentions. Sinful living grinding like gravel across any vision I had of simple living...

Blinding me to the reality of my own personal tragedy... a book I write myself... a mental diatribe I'm living by right now...

how utterly ironic how an intelligent chaotic destroys himself with the neurotic impulses of an insecure heart…

...didn't I listen? Haven't I studied?...

...Should I not understand the suffering I place myself in...

remove the mask of the executioner only to discover the task was dealt by my hands gazing at the mirror of past I see the missteps I chose to take off the path…

why do I understand but tap out to the pain, the anger, the shifting rage of my turned over page… is it not the same as the teachings that god gave...

...I'm a hypocrite...

...self sacrifice on the alter of ego I hurt...

...But... Destroy... Only... Me...

tearing out my own heart I place it on top of old photos, dusty memories, and forgotten storm clouds the haze of the profound obscures my hindsight like ear plugs for sound.

Cold empty nothing in the pit of my stomach... something lingers in the chilly night time... wanting to tear my sanity away from me...

Mistakes to make a martyr of good intentions for the sake of fate I won't try and relate to suicidal bait but I just can't shake it...

These feelings of regret, of remorse, of recourse for another morsel of smiles faked and forced... My Pen Drippings Dipped In Blood beating its last course as I write the words dressed in red...

...And I'm Sorry...

...I'm Sorry...

...I'm Sorry...

GET OFF!!!

I'm unapproachable, mentally poached, get coached or get run over by my metaphorical roller coaster

like burnt toast I'm as dry as Arizona coast, while Quenching the Thirst of Life like rope around a throat and no I won’t choke I go for broke by picking a fight with the written language exacerbating my Problems in Pronunciation

bitch this wasn't a misprint!

just A Whole Bag of Swagg for an entire nation... This is my proclamation... I'm makin'... like a remote control... I'm changin' stations… turn up the volume just to hear you hatin'... I'm on Top Of Reality Mountain... you bitches free basin'...

and I don't know what you may have heard about me... but I'm Swinging on an Empty Vine within' the bowels of my insanity

by Singing with the Wind to the beat of my personal history... By allowing my purpose to be a Burmuda Try-Angle design that I can never see

because I'm like A Heart without Blood a beat with no future my lines remain a testament to nature over nurture

I maintain my hatred of all Saints of Sin... profit from the living while still expectin' heaven… just Another Sexual Perspective... a perversion of the eclectic... I can't believe they let them... get away with their moletestin... leaving me second guessin these holy water blessin's... leaving me to question these red lettered lessons...

...This is the part where my thoughts break down... left to rot in silence when no one else is around... let me fill the void of your soul like circus clowns… when they are Up To No Good…

Don’t fuck with me I'm psycho... performing drive by's on unicycles while drinking Nyquil... that’s just how I roll... and when I lose control... Chinese calculus couldn’t calculate the death toll... and even though revenge is a dish best served cold... its my greatest wish to give it back to you 10 fold

I attack you with a metaphor... in order to defeat you in my school of thought... I'd start with the ABC's and move on to building blocks... psychopathic criminal bombing preschools of rot taking out all of you sitting under one roof you got caught

just calm down…

and give my lines a fair shot to make your body rock...

like a lyrical dragon spittin fire hotter than wasabi sauce... I'll send you your w2... Mother fucker I'M the boss that you wouldn't wanna cross... and if you think you might get sick… just take your lip from the end of my bic and GET OFF

American Dreamer

A new page a new day new rage we gotta pay attention and listen to all the bitchin and moanin of announcers on radio shows dictating how my morning goes… drink some coffee to drown my woes im in the throws of those that just don’t know how real life goes... So here we go... A little bit of truth in a cup no sugar and no creamer here is a story of how I used to be an American dreamer...

Trapped in the bracket of 30 to 50k attacks too little to be ok… too much to for a stimulus package… I'm trapped in mediocrity... Traffic got me savagely pursuing dreams not based upon reality...

Thank you government for making this a great time to get fired... I should expire my career and retire... Maybe I should flash my dick at my boss real quick watch him shit a brick of money right before he fires me yeah that’s funny... Coast on unemployment... For 6 months all the while someone else foots the bill for my life style ... Sit back and smile... They gonna extend my benefits for an extra few miles as I pretend to get a job online yeah I could do that and be fine... As American's drink the blood of their work force like wine... I worked hard and got a raise but when it came time to get paid I made less cash after the government came... Because ...

I'm trapped in the bracket of 30 to 50k attacks too little to be ok… too much to for a stimulus package… I'm trapped in mediocrity... Traffic got me savagely pursuing dreams not based upon reality...

Maybe I can sling rock on the street to make ends meet give my kids some socks and keep new shoes on their feet... Many consider this thought for the weak... But those mother fuckers don't live in my reality. A single father family you can't fathom my catastrophe I'm resigned to be and designed to be... Diligent. Finger prints on blue prints planning my next trip to wic praying to God I don’t get sick because one little slip and that’s the end of it precariously balanced on the edge of the economy existing in a nation of dichotomy... Because...

I'm trapped in the bracket of 30 to 50k attacks too little to be ok… too much to for a stimulus package… I'm trapped in mediocrity... Traffic got me savagely pursuing dreams not based upon reality...

Egoic Kaleidoscope

Tired of my pen being corrupted in the name of egoic pride
I choose to survive by the vibes that I live by
inside of my mind I deliver my word in good time

and normally...

it comes out just fine…
but lately…
things have been a little less saintly...

and all my castles crumbled on wet ink,
painting pictures as shattered dreams escape me

silent screams of misery take me to new designs of cryptic creating that mirror the same things depicted when making an ass of yourself while doing great things...

Cuz you see...

I've walked down the road of good intentions only to receive a rash from the back lash of self righteous indignation coming to task on my ass...

Haha "Pride" it seems... Is still a 'lie' I can't 'truth' away...

Still a beast I struggle to keep caged as it feasts on the morality that god gave...

Why I gotta be better?
When I was just fine before I had you to compare...
How is my work less polished?
How is my shine a little dimmer?

When I was at my best when I was by myself,

spinning in black holes
grinning at death like we just met and...
sinning my life away...

On that slip and slide of life with two kaleidoscopes over my eyes pressed tight...

(As I am the observer of beautiful forms...)

My binoculars to another world sliding at night... Faster and faster... Feel wet water and sun light

licking my senses as I pass from one world to the next...

...With a grin on my face...

How's that taste?

As I grant you images of Denis the Menace's sliding and slipping along your senses with thought forms and sentences...

Collide-OH-scoping 2 worlds eloping when you join me on my journey of me...

...Just for a little while we can be free...
...But only a moment and no more...

The journey down my slip and slide can leave your ass sore
as you bump and bounce and slide some more...

Down the path that isn't yours... Until you collide with an onyx door...

Can you survive my metaphor? Good. Because the ride has come to an end and you are faced with a choice my friends...

Open... Or ...Go

we all come to the clearing at the end of the path the ride was fun but could not last as all of our scars are windows to past until we are transparent incased in glass...

Even the clearing is fun for awhile
replaying dreams to remember and smile

but sooner or later we come to the choice...
Fade to nothing a dream on your voice...

...or erase the past...

...Enter...

...and...

.............................................................................................................................................

Biblical Rape... What Can I Say?

I won't spend long on the haters I already got your bodies stacked up cuz you got smacked up and cracked the fuck up I car jacked ya while you were dyin' in an ambulance yeah I was that bad to ya

I passed ya like we was playin pole position you get a few stars but im a fuckin' solar system so bitch listen

I'm stephen hawking and this is my theory of rhythmic musing this is my mission in an alphabet of my choosing I'm abusing the right to free speech I speak volumes of truth for those who seek, who breathe, who live to achieve the right to be free or just individually BE

....|||| ....

imagine you’re a robber on a snatch and grab and I'm the father with 3 kids and a glad bag I slide it over your black mask and have you gasp and grab at my hand wont leave it to the courts for a reprimand and have you released to plan another attack on true American's fuck the terrorists in Afghanistan we got killers right here in our "Promised" lands you understand? Got Damn

....|||| ....

Or think about the little boys growing up in convents and used like little toys thinking it was God's choice coming from the voice of those vigorously employed by the sinless steeple of God's chosen people the keepers of evil the deceiver of believers wearing black sleepers and bleached collars imprisoned to your old bitch your DOG-ma as you touch and corrupt imposing as a father to the bastard children of God's followers...

And GOVERNMENT how the fuck did they go without punishment? And no one stopped to throw a fit? Just move them to a secluded convent and that’s the end of it? Hahaha ya'll mutha fuckas a trip... But you can still get bent or get bit by the poisonous tip of my pen and eat shit with a shovel right before I use it to bury the corruptible

....||||....

What? Did what I say stir up trouble, burst your bubble, leave your beliefs swimming in rubble? Look in my eyes with your hand out see if I give a shit... I meant every bit of it just give me the pro-molesting side of the argument and I'll quit… let you have your 2 cents to vent as I place pennies over your lids to pay the boat man his tip for the long trip to Hades live in flame after you make like Kirk Kobain and drain all of your life away... what the fuck else can I say??...

hahahaha

Painting Pictures

Redemption for the ignorant I wouldn’t have spent one minute on this shit without knowing my need to repent the nonsense and dis-spell the bulshyt

because if my pen doesn’t ring true to me then I'm through with poetry cant coach me or approach me to pen out scribes laced with lies when my ink writes from deep inside of me...

A mirror pool of pain reflecting my mind in vain knowing you wouldn’t listen but it’s all the same as my thoughts are still pretending there is a line between sinful living and the scribes I keep on penning...

There is no winning, no reward, no prize that g's is giving just a free piece of me served in a three piece on sheets of bloodied paper dressed to kill stressed I will instill the aroma of truth like pills for a coma

I got my diploma in free speech a graduate of misery, heart break, and infamy... hatred don't speak to me... let me be free in formless seas as I breathe...

as I breathe...

and I breathe deep the imagining and I sing to the holy trinity as if it were a part of me... Even though its apart from me... I start to see...

the benefits of a truth in ignorance...

A painted picture for the blind to read in scripture a fixture to see the truth inside of fiction but the definition is lacking the essence of expression giving the impression that your beliefs need direction when this is all just an infection of madness...

An ignorant truth to keep the sheep from sadness as they walk down their paths to salvation a nation with a bad habit needing a middle man to help them understand it

but the price of a souls inflation can be measured by a societies degradation as the broker fees for your sinful needs break the bonds of infamy and rest squarely on the devils knees as all the believers are receivers of a spanking...

Who dies without regret? Who passes without remorse? Who follows their course without eating more than their 4 courses with reasonable recourse?

Painted pictures finding loop holes in nature if you can't read it why not fake it?... I'd rather take the bull by the horns and remake it and fuck money... I'd rather be funny and imagine the devil as a fat bunny...

Hell... since we're finger painting why make Satan the essence of hatred? Why not rainbows, and pots of gold, women only 18 years old, and fresh beer that’s cold... As long as you're painting pictures... why not be bold?

I Speak Evil (Lyrical Ignorance Part III)

Like a frozen turd you heard bitch this 'shit is cold'...

a little more metaphor I found my pen heartless in a blizzard and left butt naked by an ice wizard killed by chillie willie and raped by Jack Frost without a condom on with a prosthetic pair of witches titties strapped on this shit is long gone its way passed wrong… if wrong was a flavor of ice cream served in Antarctica...

that fly girl that just wont talk wit ya…

bitch you better have a slick wit or this pen is comin' to stick it in ya mind bend ya over and over again my lines spin ya

like cocaine in your brain my self proclaimed prophecy to blame when you were here in name only

a poetic phony, a fraudulent fake, a photoshoped copy you tried to be but you're NOT me and if you don't like me then bitch DROP me

hit the ignore button or somethin' move on gruntin' im stuntin' with my slick bic roller ballin' killin' all of ya'll like the boulder from Indiana Jones its over… or maybe just O-V because you'll be in E-R when I come through slowly flattening your lines with mine

your rhymes were straight laced I'm pennin' mace to your face you cant see me or taste the motha fuckin' flavor now make haste with your alphabet waste or you gonna be late to the onyx gates of hate

There's just no stoppin' me...

Pennin' off the top of my rock I wont stop to unblock your cock from Tu Pac's HIPs and definitely not the HOP as all you bunny rabbits start a bad habit out of eatin' carrots from the claws of a predator...

I'm el matador of this experiment killin syllaBULLs and BULLshit ill never quit when this worlds so full of hypocrites and I'll be the first to admit this is ignorant but the intelligent shit just wasn’t a fit for this chick I'm pissed...

just don’t start somethin' bitch if you ain't prepared to finish it.

I'm about to do the flutterwagon on your ass I'm Mad Hatter... I had her...you're in wonderland and how sad...Cuz Realities gonna sting when it crash lands on your ass and I'm glad... open up your blind eyes to an understanding you never had and how is a raven like my pen hand you ask? I put a little Poe in my poetry you've been had...

I'm a riddler with no answer the word dancer I hurt slow but bitch I write faster my stanzas are so fuckin' bad they cause cancer be careful the surgeon generals comin' hear that snare drummin'? better start runnin' I just don’t care cousin... Leave me with nothing and I still got more than a pair of you fuckin' dirty bakers dozens

You fakers wasn't makin' nothin' of a difference until I take your sentence and subtract the facts from your tracks you got catarax if you think you'll see me lookin back at ya I'll eat your lies and spit it back at ya scribble out the truth and bitch slap ya while im in a straight jacket im the insane mack attack on the comeback from flack and you spit whack shit.

But let me redeem me with a little post script to my floetry... My ignorance in motion to calm loving oceans and seas of deep imagining I breathe... And I breathe... And I breathe...

To Be Continued....

Reflecting Anger (Lyrical Ignorance Part II)

I'm tired of all of these pussy poet queefs
who think the shit that comes outta their mouths don’t stink
when your pen is weak
don't call that ink
just turn the other cheek and leave
be diseased and DIE SLOW

your words won't blow
you just don’t know
what it takes to show
a little fuckin integrity

ill shit on you haters
like butt sex while you're constipated
you'll never make it…
I fucked these pages young like Kobe

ain't heard of me yet
but goddamn it you'll know me
before this pen gets old and out grows me
I'll infect you bitches like STD's then make your wife blow me!

My inks run cold B
don’t pretend that you know me
I'm off my rocker...
fucked up enough to give your grandmamma the shocka

like cocaine and baking soda I'll rock ya
you'll need the spirit of god to keep me off ya
CV so alphabetically improper
writing stanzas ill sing my ABS's to the rhythms of me stompin ya,

A to the face
B another taste
C will erase

any memories of you dissin me…
one erotic drop and you wont stop kissin me…
reprogram your thoughts to walk and talk like an agnostic Tupac in anarchy…

I'll have you writin for me
my zombies of me on strings
you wont breathe when you leaves g's
to be free from me or maybe...

you were just a little too quick to pen…
think quick or your shit might get kicked again
stay the fuck off my dick and then
there's a possibility that we can be friends again...

as soon as you clean up my rubble
remove the hair from your knuckles
stand up straight pull your pants up and buckle
walk off this beating and stay the fuck outta trouble.

With every word I write you force my pen...

I feel so unevolved
nothing can be resolved
when I write so uninvolved
with the problems in life that I caused…

make no mistake there is no right here… only wrong... this ink forces my spirit to grieve and leave and now...

...long gone...

Sexually Addicted To YOU

Am I diseased?
Am I sick softened by wanting so often?
A deviant...
A sick trick
who needs to get over it
And change…
made lame by playing a never ending game of shame

Disappointment the ointment
that greases the wheels
of a truck load of broken hearts
tear me apart from your silence
or roll over in violence and dream on…

No denying the passion is gone
how can I be wrong
when its been so long since... We kissed
With any deliverance of flame...
touch being taken out of context
as you place blame
together in name
it'll never be the same as the time
I looked into your eyes
and saw the world laid before me
and the pain of the road left behind me
a contrast that didn’t last
a promise that time tested
and failed to pass
this shit went by way too fast
how can I say this you ask?
When the best sex we ever had
was on broken glass...
Don’t be crass
I'll go 50/50 on your ass and split it
what would make you think that I was good with it?

Displaying lethargy no passion ...

I panic... go schizophrenic … Laura Marling, I'm manic & 'I' just can't stand it but I really gotta hand it to you I won't demand it and you know I gotta have it I'm an attic to this static take me to rehab to keep me outta those pants...

but sometimes this shit is whack…

Gotta put my name tat on your back and do me...

Its Just.
Too much.
For us.
To let.
This trust.
Go bust.
We must.
Give up.
Enough.
Of us.
To let.
Our love.
Rise above.
This lust.
And be free…